Life beyond the barrel of a gun
by Heather Little-White
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Life beyond the barrel of a gun
by Heather Little-White |
 The effects of many years of civil war will be felt long after the fighting stops, as thousands of mines have been laid all over the country and only a few of the mine fields are known. Here a mine victim chats with friends in Luena, Moxico Province, a town in Eastern Angola. © Peter Williams / WCC
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Tuesday July 6, 1999, 9.00 p.m. I came face to face with two gunmen and, for a moment, I saw death. This happened in the normal course of life. On my way home from work, I decided to pass by a friend to drop off Daily Word reading to help her through the troubling time she was having with her father’s illness. Since my friend resides just a stone’s throw from the prime minister’s residence in Kingston, Jamaica, I had never felt any danger visiting her in this up-scale neighbourhood on other occasions. That night was no different, I felt no danger. But danger lurked in the dark. My mobile phone rang just as I was about to turn into my friend’s driveway. I stopped by her gate to answer the call that came from the company responsible for managing security at my office. As I finished the call and placed the phone in its cradle, I turned my head to face the barrel of a gun carried by a man at the driver’s door of my white Toyota Corolla car. For a moment, I felt a rush of blood to my face, my heart accelerated. I couldn’t believe that I was being held up. I looked to my left to see another man also pointing a gun at me by the front passenger’s door. The attacker at my right attempted to open my car door. Luckily, my doors were locked by a central locking system. Through my car window that was turned up, I could read his lips ordering me out of the car and shouting "Police! Police!". For an instant, I felt afraid when I looked at the guns aimed at me. I took a deep breath and recalled my Truth principles and resorted to my constant affirmation that "all is in Divine Order". It became obvious that my attackers could not be policemen as they were short, well below the 5ft 6-inch requirement for entering the police force. They appeared vicious and ready to pull the trigger. A still small voice told me not to come out of a locked car into the unknown. In a flash, I saw a group of people sitting on my friend’s patio and in another flash, the still small voice told me to drive into the driveway and toot my horn for attention. I pressed the gas pedal, and sped into the yard. I heard a loud explosion, then there was a burning in my right shoulder. My legs went dead like a deflated balloon. I heard another shot, flat and faint, in a distance. Realising I was shot, I affirmed my faith in the Divine, by uttering: "Father, I cannot die, I still have your work to do". I stayed conscious and the persons who were gathered on my friend’s patio, and were part of a Bible study group, took charge and took me to the hospital quickly. Days later, I learned that I was paralysed from the chest down. I was thankful, however, because I still had life, accepting my fate knowing that while I have life, though living with a bullet in my spine, anything is possible. |
My own experience has demonstrated that accepting one’s disability and living life positively is an inspiring and motivating force for the able and my disabled colleagues. Of course, the church has a critical role to play in bringing disabled persons to a level of self-mastery.
On the pathway to spiritual maturity, one important prescription is not becoming angry. In my own process of forgiving my attackers I regularly ask, "Father, forgive them as they know not what they do", understanding, instead, their own psycho-social framework as men at risk in a society that offers little hope except through drugs, violence and crime. The negative energy of anger should be used positively to contribute to the development of marginalised persons in society. One of my daily affirmations is
Today I am at peace with myself, in harmony with all people, places and things, for I recognise myself as one with God, the Living Spirit Almighty.Another useful way to help the disabled toward self-fulfillment is to find time to devote to disability issues and to help our disabled brothers and sisters, especially those with limited resources, to keep hope alive and take charge of their destiny. The need is great as they grapple with low self-esteem, sexual uncertainties, discrimination in the workplace and by society in general, limited access to buildings and public transportation and a range of social and personal issues.
Part of my inspiration comes from a young man, Errington Pellingion who, three years ago, at eighteen, was shot by the police while peddling his wares in downtown Kingston. As a paraplegic, his indomitable spirit has motivated him to form the Paraplegic Development and Outreach Foundation (PARADOF). Its aim is to alleviate the conditions of all paraplegics by providing the means for them to become independent and useful members of society. As an advisor for that organisation, I am moved by Errington’s ability to mobilise resources for paraplegics by providing food, houses, computers, sewing machines, repairing and purchasing wheelchairs offering skills training. The organisation’s motto, is the "Serenity Prayer":
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Unity is strength and disabled persons with similar needs must work together for their common good, especially in societies where there is little recognition for persons with disabilities. To help them achieve this objective, they should receive love, encouragement and support to release the fears that may hold them back from their own self-empowerment.
Persons with disabilities must constantly recognise that their bodies are temples of spiritual awareness, regardless of physical shape or form. This awareness should be used for life, peace, prosperity, success and constant renewal. When you look down the barrel of a gun and come away alive, what more can there be but to be thankful. I keep hope alive in the words of William A. Ward:
Because of Your power, Father I am alive
Because of Your love, I am immortal
Because of Your mercy, I am grateful
Because of Your guidance, I am wise
Because of Your creation, I am wealthy
Because of Your touch, I am whole
Because of Your presence, I am joyful
Because of Your peace, I am serene
Because of Your faith, I am free
Because of You, I am
Thank you, Father